{"id":18385,"date":"2019-07-10T12:02:29","date_gmt":"2019-07-10T12:02:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/lisa-a-romano-overcoming-negative-self-talk\/"},"modified":"2024-02-28T23:18:28","modified_gmt":"2024-02-28T23:18:28","slug":"lisa-a-romano-overcoming-negative-self-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/lisa-a-romano-overcoming-negative-self-talk\/","title":{"rendered":"Lisa A. Romano: Overcoming Negative Self-Talk"},"content":{"rendered":"<section id=\"introduction\">\n<h2>Introduction:<\/h2>\n<div class=\"image-content\">\n<figure>\n   <a href=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/iYHWh8_S_ZNPWEQSZoJHBg.png\" alt=\"Introduction:\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/iYHWh8_S_ZNPWEQSZoJHBg.png\"> <\/a><br \/>\n  <\/figure>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>We all face the struggles of negative self-talk on a daily basis.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Negative thoughts are inescapable, and so we must recognize that our effort to overcome them should not be directed at trying to escape them, but rather to acknowledge them and recognize them for what they really are \u2013 just thoughts.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lisaaromano.com\/about-lisa-a-romano\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Lisa A. Romano<\/a> is a life coach and bestselling author specializing in helping people overcome co-dependence and narcissistic&nbsp;abuse. She has helped thousands of people take control of their lives and re-frame their thought process to be positive, optimistic and self-fulfilling.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>This simple checklist, intended to be run daily or at the very least, weekly, will enable you to follow Lisa's tried and tested method of overcoming negative self-talk.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"observation\">\n<h2>Observation:<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"observe-the-negative-thoughts-of-the-inner-critic\">\n<h2>Observe the negative thoughts of the inner critic<\/h2>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>The first thing that needs to be done before you can successfully overcome negative self-talk is to <strong>simply <em>observe<\/em> the thoughts<\/strong> running through your head.<\/p>\n<p>The word observe is incredibly important in that it must be taken literally. In other words, you must not do anything more than observe, you <strong>must not associate&nbsp;your thoughts to anything<\/strong> in particular.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Just be aware of them and let them flow without you consciously attaching feelings or emotions to them.<\/p>\n<p>Check the sub-checklist below to remind yourself&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"multi-select-content form-field-content\">\n<ul class=\"items\">\n<li class=\"item\">\n<div class=\"step-number-container\">\n<div class=\"step-number\">\n       1\n     <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"step-checkbox-container\">\n<div class=\"step-checkbox\"><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"item-name-static\">\n      Observe\n    <\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"item\">\n<div class=\"step-number-container\">\n<div class=\"step-number\">\n       2\n     <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"step-checkbox-container\">\n<div class=\"step-checkbox\"><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"item-name-static\">\n      Don't attach emotions or feelings to any thought\n    <\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"item\">\n<div class=\"step-number-container\">\n<div class=\"step-number\">\n       3\n     <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"step-checkbox-container\">\n<div class=\"step-checkbox\"><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"item-name-static\">\n      Let the thoughts flow through your mind\n    <\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"become-comfortable-with-lettings-thoughts-flow-no-attachment\">\n<h2>Become comfortable with lettings thoughts flow (no attachment)<\/h2>\n<div class=\"image-content\">\n<figure>\n   <a href=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/uF8pWciJK5AqzFRJQtRILQ.jpg\" alt=\"Become comfortable with lettings thoughts flow (no attachment)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/uF8pWciJK5AqzFRJQtRILQ.jpg\"> <\/a><br \/>\n  <\/figure>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>Take a few minutes to really get comfortable with the process of observing a thought come into your mind and letting it keep moving, without grabbing onto it and unraveling the thought into smaller components.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Think of it like this:<\/p>\n<p>When you begin observing your thoughts during a period of self-abasement, your mind can feel like a storm in the ocean, with giant, aggressive waves crashing down onto you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>By simply observing these thoughts (waves) and <strong>not<\/strong> empowering them by identifying with them through emotional association, the waves naturally calm down, the storm ends, and you are left with a calm sea; a calm mind.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"remember-you-are-not-your-thoughts\">\n<h2>Remember: You are not your thoughts<\/h2>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS.<\/p>\n<p>As obvious as this statement may seem, we are all constantly fooled into believing that we are our thoughts.<\/p>\n<p>We are identifying with thoughts constantly. But you must recognize the truth, which is that you are infinitely more complex than any thought could possibly be, and are not required to believe in any particular thought.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style-info\">Recognition that thoughts are just thoughts, and not <em>you<\/em>, is essential to overcoming negative self-talk<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"disassociation\">\n<h2>Disassociation:<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"disassociate-from-the-negative-language\">\n<h2>Disassociate from the negative language<\/h2>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>When you recognize the truth that <strong>you are NOT your thoughts<\/strong>, it becomes a lot easier to disidentify from the negative thinking going on inside your mind.<\/p>\n<p>View your thoughts from a <strong>neutral, objective point of view<\/strong>. Just be curious about what is going on inside your mind rather than taking it personally and seriously.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>By doing so you can effortlessly disidentify from whatever negative thoughts are running around inside your head.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"textarea-field-content form-field-content\">\n<div class=\"form-group\">\n   <label> What do you think stands in the way of disassociating from your thoughts? <\/label><br \/>\n   <textarea placeholder=\"Something will be typed here...\" rows=\"3\" disabled class=\"form-control\"><\/textarea>\n  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"writing\">\n<h2>Writing:<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"write-down-the-5-most-painful-negative-thoughts\">\n<h2>Write down the 5 most painful negative thoughts<\/h2>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>Now, write down the 5 most painful, prominent negative comments you hear coming from your mind.<\/p>\n<p>Then, number them 0-5, 5 being the most painful of all statements.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"textarea-field-content form-field-content\">\n<div class=\"form-group\">\n   <label> 5 most painful negative thoughts (in order) <\/label><br \/>\n   <textarea placeholder=\"Something will be typed here...\" rows=\"3\" disabled class=\"form-control\"><\/textarea>\n  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"rewrite-the-thoughts-with-loving-messages\">\n<h2>Rewrite the thoughts with loving messages<\/h2>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>Now that you know what phrases are the most crippling and have successfully disassociated from them, you need to <strong><em>replace<\/em> them with something<\/strong>, of course, something positive and loving towards yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Go in and re-write (reframe) the thoughts into loving messages.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"textarea-field-content form-field-content\">\n<div class=\"form-group\">\n   <label> Re-framed thoughts <\/label><br \/>\n   <textarea placeholder=\"Something will be typed here...\" rows=\"3\" disabled class=\"form-control\"><\/textarea>\n  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"scenario-visualization\">\n<h2>Scenario visualization:<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"ask-yourself-would-i-use-this-negative-language-on-my-best-friend\">\n<h2>Ask yourself: Would I use this negative language on my best friend?<\/h2>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>This is an incredibly important question to ask yourself, because it <strong>completely changes the purpose<\/strong> of the thoughts\/comments that you have confronted and re-framed into something positive.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Imagine the impact the it would have on your&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"imagine-yourself-using-the-reframed-phrases-on-a-loved-one\">\n<h2>Imagine yourself using the re-framed phrases on a loved one<\/h2>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>Following on from the previous task, visualize yourself using the positively re-framed thoughts on a loved one, and <strong>imagine how good it would make them feel<\/strong>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Imagine the feeling of optimism and positivity that it would fill them with.<\/p>\n<p>You deserve that feeling just as much as they do, and so understand that you must treat yourself with care and respect as you would treat someone you love.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"final-step\">\n<h2>Final step:<\/h2>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"feel-proud-of-yourself-for-conquering-negative-thinking\">\n<h2>Feel proud of yourself for conquering negative thinking<\/h2>\n<div class=\"image-content\">\n<figure>\n   <a href=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/nM8XV9E1BFSHcCkxmkVFsw.jpg\" alt=\"Feel proud of yourself for conquering negative thinking\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/nM8XV9E1BFSHcCkxmkVFsw.jpg\"> <\/a><br \/>\n  <\/figure>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>You've done an awesome job!<\/p>\n<p>Feel good about your willingness to conquer the negative self-talk burdening your mind.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It's not easy to tame our inner critic, and you are making the conscious effort to do so.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"sources\">\n<h2>Sources:<\/h2>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lisaaromano.com\/blog\/how-to-tame-the-inner-critic-in-5-steps\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Lisa A. Romano - How to Tame the Inner Critic in 5 Steps<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"related-checklists\">\n<h2>Related checklists:<\/h2>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/daily-routine-checklist\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Daily Routine Checklist<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/tony-robbins-morning-routine\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Tony Robbins: Morning Routine<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/brian-tracy-public-speech-preparation\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Brian Tracy: Public Speech Preparation<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/client-intake-session-checklist\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Client Intake Session Checklist<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.process.st\/templates\/smart-goal-setting-checklist\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">SMART Goal Setting Checklist<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Introduction: We all face the struggles of negative self-talk on a daily basis.&nbsp; Negative thoughts are inescapable, and so we must recognize that our effort to overcome them should not be directed at trying to escape them, but rather to acknowledge them and recognize them for what they really are \u2013 just thoughts.&nbsp; Lisa A. 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