Module 2.2 – Mindset – get in the right frame of mind

You've been introduced to Carol Dweck already. Her amazing research over the past 20 years is having a huge impact round the world and she has the evidence to back it up. 

I've given you an easy example above of how to determine if your child is leaning towards a fixed or growth mindset. But you might like to take a more in-depth test and go straight to the authority - Carol Dweck so you can learn more about how transformational a mindset shift can be. It isn't easy mind - but we've seen it happen and we'll be giving you some challenges to help your child learn to accept mistakes and failure with much more ease.

Take this test and let us know what you come out with.

https://mindsetonline.com/testyourmindset/step1.php

Then when you have done that perhaps watch the video below with your child.

Here is a fun activity that really effectively highlights and reinforces the idea that mistakes are important for learning and for growing our brains. It will also show your child that you intend to have fun with bringing Lights On learning into their lives.

If your child is in school they may quickly realise the contradictions between how much we LOVE mistakes and how the school culture might be trying to get them to minimise the number of mistakes they make. It is important to discuss this with them so that they really understand the nuances around mistakes. There are of course good ones and bad ones and make sure you download our pdf on Knee Deep In Mistakes and get that conversation going. 

I'm going to share Alfie's story with you now. Alfie was on the Channel Four Secret Life of The Four Year Olds and he has been coming to us for nearly a year. He has just been diagnosed with Aspergers and has an incredible mathematic brain, along with some fantastics talents for writing and drawing. But he was finding himself caught up in doing the same thing over and over again and really was not prepared to take ANY risks with his learning. So he came to us and is now very aware that our Lights On culture is all about learning what we can't do and then figuring out a way to do it. He's come on an incredible transformation in a short space of time.

Now you've started to reframe how you look at mistakes you'll start to hear it all over the place. Anyone successful is guaranteed to have done a lot of failing - and actually we all have to pass failure in order to reach success - so the sooner we start the better. 

Some creative ways to start your child unlearning!

1. Learn to play again. By now you know Lights On learning is all about letting go, getting knee deep in mistakes and growing that mindset. We haven't yet talked about creativity - but this is a massive part of our learning culture - and we'll introduce you to our 4Cs (Creativity, Collaboration, Communication and Critical Thinking) later in the course.  Hopefully your child still very much plays but if they are heading towards being a teenager they may have stopped seeing play as something they do. Don't worry they will soon start to explore once we get you further into the course.

2. Take some risks. Our children may like to keep their learning well within their comfort zone so try to get them doing some new experiences - our challenges, in the next lesson, are a great way to start getting this happening straight away. 

3. Seek out experiences that help you not take yourself so seriously. Taming the ego allows you to make mistakes, even fail, and still feel okay about yourself.

4. Trust your unconscious. Our unconscious mind, or intuitive self, has a lot to teach us. I rely on it hugely and this is where reflections comes in big time as it helps us see those lightbulb moments. So we'll be looking at ways to increase lightbulb or Aha moments later in the course. 

5. Ask for feedback. This is the focus of our Spotlight stage of our framework and you'll be learning how to give kind, specific and helpful critique that will make your child more receptive to taking on other people's comments. 

6. Examine your beliefs.  Step outside of your current way of thinking is never easy because when you think you are right - or know how to do something - everything else can seem wrong. Why then would you want to unlearn what you’re currently doing, let alone replace it with something else?  Because the world is changing so rapidly and being able to apply what we think is right in one context and realise it isn't in another is a skill we need our children to master. 

If you are going to get your child doing some unlearning you better download our pdf The Importance Of Failing first - because without a doubt some failure is coming their (and your) way...

A great supper time conversation around mistakes is to talk about the different types of mistakes there are, and explore why some mistakes are more useful than others. (Of course if you can't always have supper together - breakfast or lunch times work just as well!).

Whenever and wherever you find the time to talk PLEASE make sure you do. Start with how you feel when you make mistakes and why it is that we've come to think of them as something to avoid. 

Share your Best/Biggest/Most Memorable Fail - if you're brave enough!  

What happened after the fail itself?  What did you learn that you wouldn't have learned if you had not made the mistakes you did? 

Perhaps look at some famous people who talk openly about failing, such as Richard Branson. https://www.virgin.com/entrepreneur/six-memorable-virgin-fails.

Then use this to discuss how you think they keep going - what is it that makes them succeed when others might give up?

Mistakes!

In a survey of human beings

on Earth in 2015,

we found mistakes can be...

frustrating

funny

embarrassing

weird

sad

uh-oh!

scary

amazing

silly

fun

annoying

difficult

even

The End of the World!

On closer analysis, however

we discovered that mistakes could also be...

a work of art

an amazing journey

an opportunity

an outstanding design

the answer to a question you never thought of

and

the start of an amazing journey

in disguise.

Explorium Jam CW 28/11/15

This poem was facilitated by our writing coach Corinne Williams at one of our holiday Jams.

Perhaps you could try something similar to get your child thinking about what words they would use to describe how they feel about mistakes. Do they welcome them? Or do they avoid them at all costs? 

If your child is not a fan of writing you could still do something like this out on a walk and co-create a poem together.  This is not a writing task but something for you to both connect over - so make it fun!